If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude - it's not a holiday programme, it's the truth. Jeremy Clarkson
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More Quotes By Jeremy Clarkson
  1. No really. If you only have seven years left, that means the Reaper will be dropping round for tea and buns in about 61, 000 hours from now. You therefore shouldn’t be wasting time by pootling to the garden centre at walking pace. So come...
  2. These people go on to tell us that mobile phones will cook our children’s ears, that long-haul flights will fill our legs with thrombosis and that meat is murder. They want an end to all deaths — and it doesn’t stop there. They don’t even...
  3. Boredom forces you to ring people you haven’t seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order catalogues but also the advertising inserts that fall on the floor....
  4. I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4, 000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.
  5. I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers and the Guardian and then… and then what? By lunchtime I was so bored that I decided to hang a few...
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